Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
