thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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