I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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