I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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