Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
