i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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