we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize