I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
