I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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