At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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