Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
