i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
