I'm jealous of your bromance
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
