You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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