I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
