Pappa wants mamma naked
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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