I bet he comes in French.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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