my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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