i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
only if we run a train.
done.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
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Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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