hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
