Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
