The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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