A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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