do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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