Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize