my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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