i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
