I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we should paint friendship bongs
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