good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
