Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
