did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize