Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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