My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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