wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
birth control should be required to get into college
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
