Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
