omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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