Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize