Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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