3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Randomize
