I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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