Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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