i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize