Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
