erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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