so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
