How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
