My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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