it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
