So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
