You can't motorboat a personality
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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