I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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