god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
