I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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