There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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