is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
