i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
