I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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