..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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