Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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