White coat. Heels.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
