This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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